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rare energy

by guilt mountain

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1.
fever 02:46
and you coax me down a couple of notches and i stare straight through the thick of you and i'd put it all on paper but i'm much too tired to and you ask me not to cut you out it's the first and final thing you've been thinking about but the problem is i could, i know i could but i promise not to put myself away and i promise to do better, someday so my first resort's a lockout and it happens every time i name the patterns very clearly as i watch em all unwind and trace it back to both sides step out of the spiral and erase the lines trace it back to both sides step out of the spiral and erase the lines but i promise not to put myself away and i promise to do better, someday
2.
i use the words "she's living" loosely, if i ever dare use em at all and it's a couple laundry lists of things to clutter up your years and then you can't keep awake, you can't keep up and it's been a little while since i've been home and i've been doing lots of things that you can't know and they say it's getting better long as it's not getting worse so i'll bury myself in duller things and i'll call you when i can and i'll carry my head around these states give it the run-around so when sarah asks i shut down, shut down, shut down so we both get shots but two in your eyes just one in my thigh each week gone by and the source of it all is a messed up vessel holes in my brain, see no one's safe and i fall asleep real easy, the same as you but i've learned to get up and flowers are all i can ever manage let's pretend they matter this once
3.
erasure 01:40
stuck and bleeding from the moment i get in the door wiped out from treading light on your feet i adore them when i can and endure it as i stand in the middle all the rest of the time and we can use it as an anchor or sometimes like a hammer i can cut myself in two equal pieces, it's fine you don't think very much of me whenever i do this unimpressed but i don't see why and my sentences always end with "nevermind" and my sentences always end, it's fine, it's fine caught me screaming bloody murder out at all the local nice guys gotta learn to be content just to be a girlfriend, right? you push me around, i push you back then i say something mean, you lower your head we sat on your roof, we climbed into bed we ate on your couch, we stared out and said
4.
slowing 03:15
i've been keeping my appointments, i've been diving deep and when i close my eyes i put myself underneath i've been stretching out, and i've been confused and when i close my eyes i put myself back next to you and you run to meet me from the other side of town and it's not far but far enough to break a sweat, to turn you red and i'm channeling most anything i'm pouring myself out everywhere i just don't care and i bend myself in thirds and thirds again wondering if there's any real space left i tear my hands red, get delinquent i'm so unkind i've done enough, put me to bed my cells are wrong, get rid of them i don't know how this happened i don't know how this happened and it's a short walk down any time that you'd like but i bet that you can't come over tonight

credits

released August 18, 2017

Kate Larson: guitar, vocals
Matt Ross: drums
Sarah Ayton: bass
Kaitlin Van Pelt: backup vocals

Engineered and mixed by Christopher Daly at Salvation Recording Co.
Mastered by Jamal Ruhe at West West Side Music
Cover photo by Tara Pelletier

Team Love Records release 106

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about

guilt mountain High Falls, New York

i'm pouring myself out everywhere, i just don't care
teamkate@gmail.com

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